And above, Isaac's haircut, displayed in a fun family picture at a Valentine's Party we went to last night.
At least the cut was free, but oh, what a minor tragedy this haircut is to his mommy. Picture playing with your little boy's hair, accustomed to twirling his light brown hair around your fingers while you read stories together. Now, your fingers meet only bristles. Sigh.
Some random thoughts:
1) I'd like Huckabee to withdraw so Super Tuesday can be more exciting.
2) I'm not sure why it took Isaac 1 hr, 20 min. to fall asleep this morning--I sound like a neglectful mom--why didn't I just go get the child? It's because there were several promising segments of silence and then sleepy noises, and then outbursts of laughter (which I assumed would tire the lad out) then more pauses, more sleepy babbling... and he fell asleep.
3) I'm assessing my situation as a full-time mom. Here's some of what I'm thinking:"It's awesome being a stay-at-home mom--how many people in the world would love to have this opportunity and yet I'm actually pondering whether or not it's what I should be doing with almost all of my time?! I love being with Isaac; I miss teaching amazing students; I've never had a "big-girl" paycheck in my life; So what about the paycheck? What's most important? We're probably not going to ever be financially destitute, so that isn't a compelling enough reason for me. And "checking off'" that I've had a nice paycheck isn't exactly a high and mighty goal that carries me forward into some amorphous "I have arrived as an adult" place. Am I doing enough for other people outside of my family? Work used to provide an easy way to achieve that--I saw so many people in a day that I was bound to make a positive difference; Why didn't I become a nurse? Oh yeah, I'm royally bad at the sciences..." That's kind of the thought process.
I LLLOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE being Isaac's mom and I love getting to be with him all the time. I love that I can sense his needs and have the time to meet those needs. But some of my friends work even though they have kids and it works for them. Any thoughts?
6 comments:
TARA...how the heck are ya?? You look fabulous, just the same as I remember! Life is life, isn't it. Crazy sums it up for me. No, procrastination then craziness. I am still in grad school and get to TA a geology class. Guess who is in it...remember Charlie? Well, I am his little bros TA. He asked me about you and I couldn't really say much. I didn't even know you had a baby. Congratulations. Sorry for being such a lame-o. I am so glad you found my page. Now I can stalk your life without even giving you a phone call. Fab-o
Tough decision, Tara! Oh, give me a call, and we'll chat. I've talked to so many "been-there, done-that" moms about that exact same thing. Lots of things to chew on. Love ya!
Everyone has different needs Tara- the important thing is that you are fulfilling the ones that are so personal to you. I don't work for my paycheck- I work because I love it. It isn't because people look up to me, or that I am so good at whatever it is that I do... it is because everyday I learn something more about myself. I just want you to know that women don't work because they are selfish (even though people in the church and people in the world try to make you feel that way). Some do- and they have a right to make that decision. Some of us though have dreams tied up in our careers- dreams that have been a part of us almost as constant as our dream to someday have a family. In my case- I can't imagine being one person- without having the other.
The great thing is- this is your family, your life, and your decision. You have a husband who will support you in whatever decision you make. You have a child who loves you and will love you if you teach or not. Motherhood is a gift- but it doesn't fulfill every need of every woman (and it would be silly to say it did).
You'll know what to do. That is what is so great about being yourself... you know who you are and with the support of your husband- you will make the right decision for your family.
Love you!
I've shed many tears on this subject... seriously way too many tears. As a working mom, I still have lots of doubts, fears, insecurities and worries about working while my little one is growing up. It kills me to see Brendan go to his dad for a snack or milk, or wait for his dad to come into his room to get him out of his crib in the morning even though I'm standing right there with my arms open. But my job has provided us with so many things, especially some much needed "me" time (and the money really helps)- so either way you choose, it's not easy. Love to chat more if you'd like!
I'm having the same questions, especially since we're both English MA bums! I wonder sometimes about the "what if's" and what would have happened if I hadn't had James and went on the job hunt. Sometimes I wonder about taking on a class or two to teach at the local community college, and I don't exactly know what the right or wrong answer is, but I am grateful for the chance I have to teach James...best student ever. I definitely would like to have the social interaction and the satisfaction a job provides sometime in the future.
Thanks, you guys. I love and respect all of you and I appreciate your honesty on this electrically-charged topic. This makes me so happy to have a blog:).
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