I had myself a good cry tonight. I am almost too proud to admit it, but no. My kids have gotten into the habit of saying they want Daddy to put them to bed, and it eats at me every time I hear it. Putting my kids down at night is one of the tender mercies from the Lord for me. I love how Isaac holds my hand while I read to him, and I love how Lucy cuddles up and rests her head on my shoulder as I sing to her. So the preference for Daddy makes me sad.
Doug, super sweetheart that he is (he also wrote me a love note while I was crying), points out that the reason Isaac began wanting Doug to put him to bed was because Doug would let him get an extra snack, and would tell him two stories. Lucy just likes to chime in and say whatever Isaac says. But it still makes me sad. Children are supposed to adore their mothers until they are teenagers. I am being robbed of needed affection early.
You know how you can't just be sad about one thing, so I sobbed for other sorrows in my life: one of my students isn't thriving, and it's been really hard to work with her; I've been gaining weight and not working out as much as I'd like; I still have lots of papers to grade by Tuesday--and the school computer system broke down last night while I was trying to grade, setting me back; I'm still "recovering" from the sad encounter I had with a woman in my ward; Lucy is forever staining her clothes and bleach isn't working its necessary magic on them; I cook awesome meals and my kids complain about them (see paragraph 2 about Lucy, the parrot); I want to read my second Wheel of Time book, but I'm trying to hold off until after I finish grading papers...so there's some sorrow.
Here's some joy--not so you think I'm a healthy, balanced individual, but because I have to count my blessings when I've felt glum:
1) I got to go on an awesome afternoon date with Doug yesterday. We went to Applebees (one of the places Doug took me the day he proposed) and we had fabulous meals and a blondie. I loved everything about it.
2) I enjoyed the First Presidency message tonight, and loved knowing that my brother-in-law's parents were there. They aren't LDS, and I love that they got to be in the same room with the prophet of God and feel the spirit of God in the room. I also loved seeing my brother-in-law, and my aunt and uncle singing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. There was a great close-up of Eric.
3) I'm glad my two callings help me become a better person. My piano playing calling makes me practice, developing my talent, and my Relief Society calling makes me serve women in the ward, and get to know them better than I could if I didn't do all the work I do. I'm looking forward to caroling with the sisters in a few weeks.
4) I get to go on another lunch date tomorrow without kids--the judge Doug works for takes his staff and spouses out to eat at Christmas time.
5) I'm two days away from being done with grading for the semester.
6) Gold's Gym is there for me. I just have to get there.
I've posted pictures of the scary, snow trip to Utah at Thanksgiving, of our family at the ward Christmas dinner Friday night, and of Lucy and Isaac being silly and messy today. Lucy's also sporting fun hair styles.
6 comments:
A good cry is a good thing! I love your honesty and how you put it into words so beautifully. Sometimes my kids prefer Ray too......... I think, besides the fact that they adore him, it is much to do with the novelty of having someone else do something for them. Just a thought?
I have to say that you are a good mom for loving to put your kids to bed. I am so happy that John puts Maddy to bed and I have a little time at the end of the night to just sit on my computer and be lazy. I have had those moments (especially after I was in the hospital) where Maddy would barely even come near me, much less give me hugs. I'm worried going back to the hospital will set her back again, so I totally understand. I also understand the recovering from the run-in, I'm still working on that too. Lots of love to you Tara, I think you're wonderful and I love your honesty.
I had one of those a few weeks ago. A good cry. Hormones being a little bit off don't help much either. Its just a phase with your kids. You and Doug are amazing parents and I have a feeling your kidos will love you even when they are teens:)
Sometimes we all need a good cry...I've certainly had my fair share lately. Thankfully, they pass :) I think you are wonderful and definitely a SUPER mom! Gotta love how fickle kids are. And dinner time is the same thing here, only with Drew as the little parrot. Glad you survived your trip to Utah! The roads were AWFUL!
Lewis won't let Daddy get him up or put him to bed, which is both our faults, I think. I have always done it, so that's what Lewis expects now. The worst part is, is that after I put him to bed, he spends a half an hour going "Mommy, mommy, mommy PLEAASEE!" (to come get him) which breaks my heart in two. I think I'd rather take crying over the begging to get him out of bed. At any rate, I'd love it if Lewis asked for Daddy to tuck him in. You are a wonderful Mom and I agree with the other posters in that it is just a phase. Kids switch allegiances very quickly. :) Enjoy the extra time, if you can.
You are a really good Mom! And I love reading your perspective on things--always uplifting, even when you are sharing your sorrows. Ugh. I've had a few good cries lately and I think that's okay. I know how stressful end-of-semester-grading is. Be done, and then read your wonderful book! merry Christmas!!
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