Though your berries be purple, yet I will make your shorts stain-free

I apologize for what may be considered theoretical blasphemy, but I was pretty impressed with my laundering skills this week when I saved a pair of shorts from complete ruin. I had a picnic at my mom's house and realized after getting up from the grass that I had been sitting on berries--in my new khaki shorts. And I really didn't feel like I could afford another pair.

My mom and Peanut coached me to spread Shout! on my shorts, keep them wet in the car as I went home, soak them in hot water, then wash them in hot water with Biz again and again and again. When I went to bed that night, my shorts actually looked like they had before the berry incident.

I worry about my little family budget a lot, and I hated the idea of spending money on shorts if I could save my own shorts. Lucy's little yellow dress didn't fair so well. I didn't notice she had a berry stain on her bum until we got home, and so she still has a berry stain, despite my efforts to get rid of it at home:(.

I really am thankful. My grandma saved a pair of my white shorts when I was in Junior High, and I still love that and marvel. Laundry invites religious analogies.

In other news, I've been thinking about how I'm doing as a mother. A reluctant toddler who says "No!" way too often could bring that out in anyone. I'd give myself a really high grade for effort and a really mediocre grade for actual results.

In my Patriarchal blessing, I am told that I will advocate the cause of motherhood and mothering, so here is my proclamation to the world on the subject of mothering and working FOR ME (and for the moment):

I know that I want to be marketable and maybe even teach a class. It would be nice to be paid for strengthening my teaching skills. I also know that my two-year-old needs me full time right now. Even though I'm not a great disciplinarian. And even though I don't let Isaac paint with anything except ketchup. Poor kid.

I wrestle over whether I want to get a part-time teaching job to feel like I'm progressing and developing myself, or just because I see other mothers with part-time jobs and I appreciate the financial benefits. I don't want to deceive myself. And I don't want to be lazy. And I don't want to shortchange myself.

That said, I'd be just as pleased with myself for submitting and maybe even publishing as I would if I taught. So there isn't a need for me to work outside of my home financially (for the time being) or even emotionally, as long as I am pushing myself to develop my talents.

I'm thinking of several people as I write this, afraid of offending or sounding some negative way, but I'm also voicing my real feelings in MY PARTICULAR SITUATION, so please don't be offended.

Happy Sabbath.