Tonight, one of my good friends asked if I'd read anything good lately, to which I replied, "Well, sort of. I read Doris Lessing's short work 'To Room Nineteen' again yesterday; it's about a stay-at-home mom who feels so dissatisfied with her life that she commits suicide." So why did I read it again, do you ask?
Here's a quote from the story, regarding what matters to this one married couple, so see what you think of the slant:
"...there was no point about which either could say: 'For the sake of this is all the rest.' Children? But children can't be the centre of life and a reason for being. They can be a thousand things that are delightful, interesting, satisfying, but they can't be a wellspring to live from. Or they shouldn't be... Matthew's job? Ridiculous. It was an interesting job, but scarcely a reason for living... Their love for each other? Well, that was nearest it. If that wasn't a center, what was?"
And then her husband cheats on her and the wife pretends to shake it off, but that doesn't work out so well.
So here's what I gain from this story, and from the quote I shared:
We all need something solid to hold on to when life gets hard. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the rock upon which I build my life.
Growing up, I learned about Jesus Christ (the ultimate hero and role model and Savior). I learned about charity, faith, forgiveness, prayer, repentance, and Heavenly Father's love for me. I managed to survive heartbreak (and I'm one of those who falls HARD and recovers slowly, so this is a miracle). I was able to deal with 1) chronic hives, 2) feeling like I was never as talented as my siblings, 3) wishing I was smarter, and 4) feeling like a completely ineffective, prideful fool on my mission. That's big stuff, and I couldn't have survived it if I felt like I was alone and no one cared.
At the end of the day, we're still all becoming someone better and we can still pray for help and get it. That's amazing, and it isn't something that a lot of people believe anymore.
I feel inspired to ground myself in truth and go forward with hope. And Doris Lessing, it isn't thanks to you. It's thanks to everything I've been taught my whole life and everything real I've ever learned.
6 comments:
Oh, I love that post! Thanks for sharing. It's a good thing we have the gospel. I seriously don't now how people, like the Mother in the story, make it without it.
Tara Bowen!?! I'm SOOO happy that you found me. It's been really fun reading your blog and catching up on your life. Isaac (love the name)is very adorable, of course. How old is he?
My grandma is Barbara. Is Doug enjoying the biography? I haven't read it but I understand it's quite detailed.
Well here's how long we haven't been in touch--you went on a mission? Where did you go? I know how you felt though, I felt that way on my mission a lot too. Anyway, wonderful entry-so so true.
Thanks for sharing this, Tara. It was really thought-provoking. I was also really suprised to read about some of your hidden struggles. I'd have never guess (well, I saw one form of the hives--the puffy lip, but that was cute). Its funny how most people have secret struggles that are basically the same as everyone else's but we keep them secret. And just by way of providing an outside perspective, I always thought you were the object of envy of the girls around you growing up (not talking about Peanut).
I like to hear sometimes that I am not the only one who has trials. We all do but I guess some people share theirs more than others. Thank you for sharing one of yours and your thoughts. It made me smile. You are an amazing girl. You make me smile. Love ya girl.
In the mission you were someone dependable and strong that I looked up to. I'm glad I got to spend so much of the mission near you.
Post a Comment