If I haven't accurately conveyed how much I hate Lucy's asthma, allow me to try again.
Lucy's asthma turns her into a crying, shrieking infant who can almost not be comforted. (For those of you who read the Hunger Game series, Lucy has become the mutt version of herself.) If she has her blue blanket, her pink blanket, her pink bear, her paci, and her mommy or daddy holding her, she might get calm enough to go lie down in her crib...and cough and cough for hours until she finally gives up trying to sleep and begins crying again.
She is also a diesel truck that needs constant care. Enter ibuprofen, tylenol, ventolin, flovent, prednisolone, starring as the special diesel gas, given every 6, 6, 3, 12, and 12 hours respectively. To offset the horrible things that these meds do to her stomach, enter milk, chocolate, and toast (because those are the only things she would eat this morning).
I think I've exhausted my similes for the afternoon. But it's tough to take care of an asthmatic toddler. We dealt with it every day and night (undiagnosed) for five months last year, and it really felt as hard as having a newborn--hence, no little baby brother or sister arriving any time soon.
But we have done a lot to challenge the asthma. We scrubbed every surface of her room, washed the curtains and bedding, took out everything that could get dusty and wasn't washable (like her rocking horse and little chair), and we've got the air purifier and the humidifier set up, and my little Lucy is down for a nap three hours earlier than normal.
I love Lucy. I hate asthma. But when I caught myself asking Doug why Lucy has to have asthma, we talked about how it's better than cancer. Way better. And we're grateful that we're not crossing Highway 66 like the Okies during the Great Depression, or the Mormons crossing the plains in the 1800s--with little medicine and zero funds. I'm grateful for medicine, for Lucy's asthma specialist, for the three months of summer wherein Lucy coughed maybe 6 times. I'm so grateful to know that we'll all survive.
And Doug's in the Salt Lake City airport right now, preparing to fly to northern Virginia, where he'll stay with his brother Jeremy and sister-in-law Darcee and see as many of the D.C. sights as possible. He seriously has a four page typed itinerary outlining every hour of the trip. It's stacked with tours of the White House, the Supreme Court, the Washington Monument, Ford's Theatre, and I forget what else. He has given the Smithsonian's National Gallery of Art one pitiful hour of his time, which makes me laugh and shake my head. How on earth could that not have an entire day all to itself?!
And because I have a little time, I'd like to point out that even when I'm grateful for my circumstances, it is still possible to notice aspects of my life that could look better with a little extra money. For example:
1) My kitchen table and chairs could match each other. Right now, one chair matches the table and the rest are unmatched folding chairs.
2) My home could be better decorated--like I wouldn't have thumb-tacked a map of the U.S. over Isaac's bed--without laminating it first. So he wouldn't have pulled it down easily and made me feel angry. And I wouldn't have rolled it up, tossed it on a high closet shelf, and made a memo to myself to get to Kinkos to laminate it when I have more money and time.
3) I'd have texting.
4) I'd spend more money on gifts for the people I love. If it's the thought that counts, I thought it'd be nice to get a nice workout shirt and workout pants for my mom. But my budget only let me get one of those things for her birthday. I'm not good at creating "thoughtful" gifts that don't cost too much because I'm not very crafty.
5) But even craftiness costs money. Be honest.
and Lucy's awake. That nap was priceless.
7 comments:
Oh man I can't even hardly imagine. The hardest time for me was when I had a colicky baby and that was rough, but livable because we knew that someday it would end. I'm so sorry. And I so agree about the craftiness costing money. That is 110% true. Hence I would rather just buy something and not be crafty about it. Saves brain cells and costs about the same.
Poor Lucy (and poor Tara and Doug) :( I can't imagine how hard that must be for all of you. I had really bad asthma as a kid, but mine didn't start until I was 5and was usually pretty well controlled unless I didn't take my meds. Is she just on a short burst of prednisone because of a flare-up? Take comfort in the fact that EVERYTHING (allergies, asthma, etc.) is really, really bad in September. That is usually when I went to the ER and/or had to go on prednisone. Is the prednisone helping, I hope? Her asthma may get a little better next month. Do you guys have ragweed out in ID? I think it blooms this time of year and causes a lot of misery for everyone. Send me an email (skwhite30@gmail.com) if I can help you out in any way (albeit 1000 miles away). Take care, you guys.
I feel you on the house decorating. You've seen my house now- but it was a mostly empty, disgustingly painted, nightmare when we first moved in. And it has taken hundreds of hours over the past 4+ years to make it look okay on the super cheap (for example, I can now fix any wall and match textures, Adam can do electrical stuff, etc). And we've been picking up cheapo furniture for years, like it taking 3 years to find 2 queen bed frames for what I deem a reasonable price (and others deem crazy cheap).
It will all come in time, and I know the expected patience totally blows. That's why you have friends who understand right? Because we've all been there at some point- you know like feeding 2 people for 30 days on $60 for months on end. We love you Tara!
Tara, I'm so sorry. Luci is blessed to have a mother who just loves and adores her as she has this earthly challenge to endure. I know her challenge becomes your challenge and to that I say, "Thank goodness you are a woman of great faith and strength!" I love you!
You and I are in a similar boat with kids with asthma. My seven year old did well over the summer, after the long list of medications he was on (many identical to those that Lucy is on), but his was only diagnosed after years of trips to pediatricians and a miserable chronic cough that left me feeling like a helpless mother.
I also would enjoy more money.
Good luck! It looks like you are doing everything right that you can do.
Wow--what a challenge and a trial for all of you. I am so glad it was FINALLY diagnosed and you are finding some things that will work.
O' the money issue.... why does a little extra seem like the answer to all our troubles? I am with you on that one.
That's so tough! Way to go on trying to be positive about it (comparing yourself to the depression and pioneers...that's a good prospective). I hope this winter is better for her and you. I'm wishing the same for us, last winter was rough.
We are currently throwing most of our money into our mortgage and have had little..ok none..to spare for extras. Every time I start thinking about all the projects I could do if I could just buy this or that...I have this little whisper in my head that says I should improve upon the thing's I already have...like organizing and living more simply (A house of order), donating unused items to DI, organizing recipes,papers,artwork,toys, updating journals and blogs, quality time with the kids, deep cleaning, practicing for primary (we have the same calling...funny!), or finishing an array of projects I've started which now gathering dust. I can understand why the Lord doesn't give me more money...I would always have way to many things left undone.
I hope you have a great weekend!
Love, Val
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