Why isn't my daughter happy during naptime? and other musings

We spent our Christmas break in Highland, Utah, at my parents' house, and it was incredible. Every single Sheide was there for the holiday, including our newest member, Georgia Sheide, who was six weeks old when she came. Troy, Breezy, Sayla, and Georgia all flew from Virginia to be with us and it made Christmas feel complete and so much better. There was food, folks, and fun to be had.

Then we came home and Brooklyn decided she didn't want to nap almost ever, and she was a crying, screaming mess for the three or four days after we got home AFTER nap time. Serious Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde behavior between morning and evening time. Then, she'd cry in bed several times a night. It has gotten to the point where I think I hear her crying all the time when I am in bed, just like I did with my newborns. We can't believe we're considering sleep training our 2 1/2 year old, but this problem needs to go away before our little baby comes into our lives. We need as much sleep as humanly possible. Some things we are doing to improve the situation: 1) We will not let her sleep with little match cars anymore--she woke up crying three times last night because her car had fallen. So never again. Only stuffed animals who are too big to fit through the bars are welcome. 2) I'm going in if she claims that she pooped in her diaper. Then, I can head off the wailing and the stripping off the diaper fun. 3) We're sticking to routines, like reading, family prayer and scripture study, and brushing teeth before bed. Any other suggestions? We're really used to our kids being fantastic during their bed and nap times!

More musings. . . Doug's job made my cry on Christmas Eve. Sob, actually. If there is anything more pitiful than sobbing on Christmas Eve, I don't know what it is. Doug's boss decided--for whatever reason--not to give Doug a Christmas bonus. In the past, he has given Doug bonuses in June and December. We briefly considered giving him National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and I REALLY wanted to yell at Doug's boss in a text message, but refrained. I don't know why his boss made this choice, but to me, it represented my fear that no one cares about our little family. Obviously, that isn't true, but it just felt like such a harsh reality that Doug's boss just plans to use Doug as much as possible and doesn't care at all about Doug's feelings, diligence, or future. In June, Doug's boss plans to retire, so he will no longer be paying Doug's salary. We don't know what we will do. We don't know if the firm will hire another attorney who can help pay the overhead (including Doug's salary) or not. So we're being prayerful and faithful, and Doug's looking at job postings. The thought of moving against makes me feel ill, but I am trying to have faith, and to avoid borrowing trouble. 

There was only one conflict over the Christmas break, and it was unfortunately my fault. My dad made a comment about Peanut being the best at something, and I rose to the comment, becoming sarcastic, snappy, and pretty upset. My dad, of course, felt like he had said nothing wrong, and I felt the frustration I have experienced for years when my dad decides to compare Peanut and I. I'm pretty sure he thinks she is better at everything athletic, and he thinks she is smarter, and it bugs me to no end. Peanut and I would love to run marathons together in the future, but it doesn't feel like our family members will ever stop comparing us. I don't want to deal with the comparisons between her kids and mine. Why can't we just be happy for each other, and encourage each other? Related to this, my dad got my sister and I special necklaces that read something like, 'My baby yesterday, my friend today, my daughter forever" and a love letter sharing special memories he had with each of us. It was my very favorite Christmas present. To psycho-analyze myself, I am probably sensitive to my dad's perception of me because I want him to just think I'm wonderful. I'm not comfortable being put in a slot below my sister. I just want to be loved for me.

That rant is done. School is back in sessions, and I am once again a teaching group leader (in charge of mentoring other instructors), and teaching advanced writing, which I like. But Doug is a professor now, too! It's really fun to see him interact with students and chuckle as he reviews the materials for his ethics course. We aren't vegging in front of the TV as much at night, but rather spending time in our office together.

Finally, my baby will be coming soon. In less than 7 weeks. I have felt like I look full-term for the past month and a half, so I feel worried about how huge I'll get. My belly is a force to be reckoned with:). Something that has helped me worry less about weight gain has been NOT getting on the scale. I try to get on the scale the day of my doctor appointments so I know my actual weight on the scale I've been using for years, but I avoid the scale otherwise.

So that's all my confidences for the moment. Back to work!