I wouldn't classify my life as hard, per se. I have cute, loving kids; a precious husband; food; shelter; clothing. I know God loves me and that I can live with my family forever, happily, because of Jesus Christ and His atonement. I love so many things in my life: beautiful surroundings, getting to write, laughing with loved ones, the power and splendor of music. "I have been given much" in my life.
But I am taken aback by how stretched I am. Literally and figuratively. I hate Lucy's asthma. I hate that she can't just have a cold and move on with life, but instead gets a deep, hacking, sleep-destroying cough that doesn't go away without lots of steroids. I dislike paying for her inhalers and "medicine candy" and not seeing any proof that they do anything for her.
I'm blown away that Isaac got MUMPS last Friday, when 98% of people who get the MMR vaccine are protected from Mumps. I was sickened by the fact that we had family staying with us, and they had to leave because Isaac needed to be quarantined. And then I was literally sick with stomach flu the evening they left, reduced to throwing up, and crying, and not being able to take care of my little family. Thank goodness Doug got sick too, and we shared the load for the next 48 hours.
And then I had to take Isaac back to the doctor for blood work a few days later; that visit made me determined not to bring him anywhere near a needle for another year or so. He was horrible. It was horrible. We got the phone call last night confirming that his blood test was positive for mumps. And finally, we're out of quarantine.
Speaking of blood work, I get to go into the doctor's office for the three-hour stress test we all know and hate tomorrow because I failed my first glucose test at the doctor's office. I'm not going to bet that I have gestational diabetes (based on having tested negative last time around on the three-hour wonder), but the idea of it lends itself to a little pregnancy tirade:
This pregnancy has absolutely stunk!!!!!!!! I was sick as a dog for the first trimester, and chased that with the last several months of this blessed routine: 1) feel hungry. 2) eat food. 3) get terrible headache and feel like I need to sleep 4) try to fight it, and usually fall asleep in the morning, but fight it off for the rest of the day, then repeat steps 1-3. It has been so frustrating. I hate battling fatigue, and headaches aren't my cup of tea either. And I have had some degree of nausea every night for the last 6 out of 7 months. And I'm at the "cute" stage of pregnancy, where my belly is enormous, and I'm draping it in maternity clothing that is "cute." I'd like a cook, who prepares healthy meals for me, and a nanny who plays awesome games with my kids while I sleep and grade papers. And a vacation from being pregnant.
And I have to end there because it's bed time and I need every scrap of beauty sleep I can get:).
5 comments:
Tara,
What terrible news! I can't believe Isaac got the mumps. :-( I hope everyone is feeling better. I have been feeling lately that my "load" has been terribly heavy as of late(having trouble sleeping, Lewis not napping and getting up at 5:15 am, tons of tantrums, hitting, and screaming lately, pregnancy pains, etc., etc.) but just remember we are following God's will and he will bless us for our efforts. I hope you have a much better week. Take care!!!!
Oh man what a week! I am so sorry! I can't believe he got the mumps of all things. I can also (only weakly) understand a bit of your hatred of Lucy's asthma. The one week that Grant was in the hospital unable to breathe was the worst feeling in the world. I can't imagine having to go through that over and over. I hope you all feel better soon, and that the pregnancy will be smooth sailing too, because heaven knows it's hard enough to be that big without battling all of the other stuff too. (oh and if you find that nanny and a cook, please send them my way too....)
Yikes!!! Hang in there-- you are definitely getting more than your share of trials right now!!!
Terrible news!! I am so sorry for all that you are going through, but I have to say that I love reading your description of it. I just love you and I know you'll get through this! I love your perspective. Despite all you are going through, you actually still sound positive!!
Oh Tara!!! I'm so sorry!!! Yuck, yeck, and triple "dislike"! We've been praying for Issac but didn't know we needed to add you and Lucy too! I hope your pregnancy smooths out; goodness I hate being pregnant! Just think, in a little while longer you'll be holding that cute baby girl Bowen in your arms and you will have almost forgotten how much fun it was(n't) to get her here! Hang in there!
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