Writing Obits, Playing with the Kids, So Much To Do

My grandma passed away on Friday, June 18th, and I am glad I got to be with her for a few hours before she passed. She had heart and lung failure and didn't want to be hooked up to life support. She has always told us she'd rather die than be hooked up to life support, and her sons finally made the decision to let her go. It felt way too sudden.

A few weeks ago, Lucy and I went over to visit my grandma for a while, and we just had a sweet experience together. Grandma loved her grand kids and great-grand kids so much, and I'm lonesome for her. For her birthday last week, I bought her some 4th of July flip flops and a fun summer purse; she was supposed to go to Minnesota last Monday, and we wanted her to go in style. Instead, the flip flops are in my closet, and I've been bringing the fun summer purse all over the place. It makes me almost sick that I am using it instead of her, but I want to remember her.

Isaac and Lucy don't understand death at all, and I keep it really simple when I explain that Great-grandma died and now she gets to live with Great-grandpa in heaven. I'm pretty sure they're in paradise, but it seems complicated to explain that without those puzzles from my mission.

So I wrote Grandma's obituary with Peanut, and extended an anticipated 40-hour stay in Utah to a five day stay.

There were blessings of extending that trip. I got to be there for the funeral (without driving back and forth); I got to go to Seven Peaks with the Williams family (SO fun); and I got to go on heavenly stroller rides. I love Pocatello, but stroller rides in Utah are my favorite. Because Doug was with me, we divided up the kids every once in a while and I loved having quality alone time with my children.

I recently heard that someone I care about doesn't want to have children because, "then you have to have them forever." Forever is what I want, and I'm so grateful we get that through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

I'll go back to trying to catch up with my BYU-Idaho class, and I hope to look at the damage inflicted on my budget ASAP as well. But all I want to do is relax:).