There is actually a thing called "PMS"--Post marathon syndrome. I don't have it, because I'm not moping around, all gloomy, without any drive to do anything. But. . . .
Now what? I registered for the earliest marathon I could find so the marathon wouldn't interfere with having my next baby. But that doesn't mean I want to be pregnant.
I'm not one of those people who likes being pregnant. I don't like being sick and having no energy for 4 months. I don't like stopping mid-sentence to rush to the bathroom and throw-up while my kids call through the bathroom door, "Mommy, what's wrong? What happened?" I don't like gaining weight every single day, and spending hours on non-productive musings about how heavy I will get, and how unattractive I will be. I don't like filing clothes away that no longer fit, and wondering if they will ever fit again.
My life feels incredibly busy, thanks to my teaching, my children, my house, my calling, and my quest for down time with my spouse in the middle of all that.
But choosing to be pregnant has never been about those 9 months. I can weather chaos. I'm strong enough to weather anything Heavenly Father sends my way. I'm praying for the courage and faith I need to have to grow our family. Besides, Doug says that if we have a girl next time around, I get to name her Cumorah. He says this is a one-time offer (I consider this clause negotiable), and it's something to look forward to. I have absolutely no boy names in mind.
In the meantime, I'm taking antibiotics for the big toe that got infected in my marathon. (Three of my toenails are a lovely shade of purple, thanks to running.) I'm grading like a mad-woman for a course that wasn't ready to be launched this semester--I'm teaching two classes, supervising a group of instructors, and preparing to teach straight through the summer for the first time--I hope that works out! I'm taking a whole lot of allergy medicine, and my hives haven't shown up yet. I've had fun bike riding with my kiddos (Lucy's on her two-wheeler now), and I'm able to run again. I've had hiccups for the past 4 hours:).
Tonight, I wished I could sign up for more summer races: another marathon and an Olympic triathlon, specifically. While I may do one of those, I doubt it. Like Pete the Cat, I'll keep "walking along and singing [my] song." And everything is going to be okay.
5 comments:
Congratulations on the marathon! What an accomplishment! I hear you on the pregnancy musings. The more kids you have, the more you "know" what you're getting yourself into. First-time moms are blissfully unaware of what pregnancy is really like :) But don't forget how wonderful and calming it is to hold your brand-new, sleeping babe, who is so new and fresh from Heaven! :)
That's the reason I'm willing to be brave:)
My Mom always tells me that if you want something done you should ask a busy person to do it (because they know how to juggle things and work hard I think?) and if that is true, then I think you win the prize because I am sitting here marveling at how busy you are! My life is a turtle's pace by comparison, and even then I sometimes get stressed ha! So I'm thinking another baby is not going to phase you, you are already rocking the socks off of a busy life as is!
Jenn, just place me in front of a table and tell me to sand it. I can think of 700 chores I am willing to do before I face the unknown. You are masterful!
Holy...crap...Tara...you DESTROYED that marathon!!! I am seriously so SO SO beyond proud of you. Tonight is the first night I've looked at blogs in months, and I am just in awe. You are simply amazing. Not to mention all of the other wonderful things you are doing...wow. Just wow, my friend.
Good luck with the family planning. I wish being in fabulous shape would make pregnancy easier. If that were the case, you'd be in for the most fabulous pregnancy ever. As for the kids you have now, I must say, Brooklyn is absolutely adorable in those pigtails. And I agree...naked little bums running away is hilariously and adorably maddening.
....Buttons come, and buttons go....
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