I have always viewed things kids are able to do as magic tricks. Before Isaac was potty trained, I thought moms with potty-trained kids were geniuses (and they are!) I still think moms who teach their kids to read teach their kids magic. Isaac is plugging away, but that "click" I hear about is still not there. Brooklyn just performed the slightly less magical trick of waking up (in her defense, the nap was 2 1/2 hours long!) but that means I need to get her. . .
Okay, 20 minutes later: I've been surprised by pacing. You hear the platitude "every child is different." This is usually used by moms who are trying to make me feel better when I point out that my kids can't do what their kids of the same age can do. And, while it's true, I've noticed that this platitude is really directed at parents whose kids aren't advancing quickly. When kids do things quickly, we praise them for being so smart. When they're slower, we point out that kids learn at their own pace.
Some pacing discrepancies I've seen with my kids:
Lucy potty-trained like a champ, whereas potty-training Isaac was a miserable experience for everyone involved.
Isaac learned his letters and sounds in two days, watching Leap Frog's "The Letter Factory." I assumed "The Letter Factory" was the means of producing letter and sound magic for all--maybe most?--kids. . .
But three weeks after I've started showing that movie to Lucy, she can sing about every sound each letter makes but she still isn't able to identify half of the letters in the alphabet on flash cards. I don't think she is less intelligent that Isaac, but the movie didn't sear that information into her soul, like it did for Isaac. Maybe she is less observant at this stage in this particular area?
I think Isaac was rolling at three months, as was Lucy. And we were very proud of our 8 1/2 month old Brooklyn when she rolled onto her belly for the first time a few days ago--on the same day she got her first tooth:).
I love having three kids and seeing how they learn. As I watch my little Brooklyn roll back and forth on the floor, I am so proud of her and excited for her. It is okay that other kids her age can crawl and pull themselves up to standing. And talk. I like to think she means "Mama" when she says it to me. I like to think "Ba" means bath. And it's okay that I really know I'm wrong:).
I take my kids for who they are, and I love being here to see every new magic trick they learn.
5 comments:
LOVE this, and needed this right now.
I totally relate to this post. I do try to remind myself that childhood isn't a race (or my poor cuties would be losing on several grounds!). The older they get, the more I see how silly it was for me to be worried about some stuff, but that doesnt stop me from being worried about the next level of stuff.
Love it. You know, those "magic tricks" are exactly what excites me the most about having another kiddo in the family. Whenever LL does her magic tricks I think are particularly cute, I think to myself, "what's this next kid going to be like?" Laralyn was a pretty early talker, and caught on to letters and numbers quickly, but was slower with the physical stuff (crawling, walking, potty-training-ugh!). I'm prepping myself for her opposite...a totally crazy physical meat-head that will be running as soon as he can walk. Man, it must be fun to watch THREE kids growing up so differently!
I do hope that I'm getting to be a little more laid back when it comes to comparing my kids. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does it, but I'm REALLY trying hard to break the habit.
Thanks for the great post!
You know what I do to avoid comparisons, I never ask how old other people's kids are ha! (or if I do know, I just kinda forget, it is the one way being forgetful has worked in my favor). That way I can live in my own little naive world where my kids are geniuses when they figure out their magic tricks.
Oh man, if I compared Kings to any other kiddo (most younger than him), I would be feeling like an abject failure. I've learned in the last year that he will do something when he "damn well pleases" as Adam so often describes his learning curve.
Case in point: He spent 8+ weeks ALMOST rolling over. He'd ramp up and whip his body almost over and then stop himself with his legs. Once he got himself onto his tummy, it took him another 4 weeks to roll back over onto his back.
He didn't crawl anywhere until he was over 9 months old. And wasn't cruising around until he was 10 months. He didn't start standing until he was 11 1/2 months and he is no closer to walking than he was 30 days ago. He just decides that "today I am going to walk!" And then he does it and doesn't look back.
He doesn't say anything (I like to pretend that his da da das are really calls for his daddy) but they aren't. He doesn't say a lot of consonant noises and isn't a huge talker. He's been quiet since he stopped screaming back in June (after the reflux diagnosis).
He also has 2 teeth that have come like a third of the way up. Those came up in November. NOVEMBER! And they aren't even all the way up.
All of the kids that were born in the months after him have like a gazillion teeth, say mama and dada, can eat dairy without breaking out in hives, walk, and look like toddlers instead of an adorable, tall, skinny, partially bald baby.
So I am taking it all in stride. I know that little brain of his is working- I can see him problem solve as he sits with his blocks and cups and miniature piano. I am so curious to see how our future kid/s will be.
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