Yesterday morning, I was feeling sorry for myself, so much so that I wrote "wallow in self-pity" in my planner and checked it off.
So here are my reasons to wallow in self-pity:
1) Lucy has had diarrhea since last Friday (on and off, so I keep thinking it's done.)
2) I've wanted an easy friend-making experience here in Pocatello like I had in West Virginia, and although I really love the people I've met, I haven't felt received with open arms. What constitutes open arms, you ask? I guess it means being called up to come over and hang out and being invited to dinner or dessert. And not being the only person at playgroup!
3) I've applied for 4 jobs, only 1 of which is hiring. And I haven't heard back from BYU-Idaho (the one that's hiring) yet.
4) It's cold.
5) I want to be so good about my budget, but it's limiting me. For example, because I so desperately want to hold onto my Gold's Gym pass, I am nobly trying to cut extras out of the grocery list that are just for me. I miss Cozy Shack rice pudding and Bunny Tracks ice cream by Blue Bunny. I'm going to miss Caffeine-free Diet Dr. Pepper when it runs out.
And here's what I've got to celebrate:
1) I picked Isaac up from his high chair today and he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you, Mommy." That's the first time he's said that without me saying it first. And he gave me his first kiss on the cheek (without my having kissed him first or asked for a kiss) a few days ago. Melt my heart!
2) Jim and Pam got married:). Though I didn't officially sign the guest list, you better believe I was there.
3) I love cozy mornings with Isaac and Lucy in pajamas.
4) I had an awesome talk with my wonderful friend Christine yesterday.
5) One of my missionaries in the MTC wrote a psalm and tucked it into a journal the missionaries gave me as a gift. I had the psalm on my desk for the last week and didn't read it until yesterday, when i was feeling down. The psalm is a sweet tribute to the Savior of the world and it was so soothing. Because of Jesus Christ's love, I am trying to be like Him and that makes me happy.
6) I LOVE my spouse.
7) Lucy has starting "reading" books like Isaac. Hallelujah and it is just so cute.
Thank you to my wonderful West Virginia friends who taught me what it is to be welcoming and inclusive. I know I need to start inviting people over to my house and being the good friend first.
The last idea I wanted to toss out regards where I'll live for the rest of my life. Doug asked if I could live here for the rest of my life, and the weather and separation from my family members are my only real concerns. Otherwise, yes, I could live here for a good long time. What are your thoughts about lame weather and living away from family?
8 comments:
Budgets are the worst for taking away the delicious things in life. You're amazing for giving them up for the gym. My hero seriously. As for living far away from family in cold weather, well I can partially relate (Utah does get more snow than Maryland). I would say that it is hard, but you get used to it. You still live close enough that you can visit, so I would say that you are really lucky. I wish I could drive a few hours to see my Mom. So basically if it were me, I would say it's the almost perfect scenario. :) And I should put wallow in self pity on my planner sometimes too. Heaven knows I do it!
I love reading your blog. It seems like our lives are so similar. Right now we're giving up cable for our gym membership. As for lame weather and living away from family, we're in the constant debate whether living close to family is advantage enough to live through Canadian winters every. single. year. I think you can be happy anywhere - you just have to pick what's most important to you.
We miss you out here! Come back to good ol' West Virginia.
I think I've written wallow in self-pity on my to do list before. . .haha! I must be normal. I think I wrote "cry" on one before too.
I don't like lame weather and if it takes me more than 4 hours to see family I always think it's way too far. I would say you were super friendly when we moved in and I was really really grateful. It takes me forever to warm up to a new place. Good luck in the friend making (honestly, you seem incredible at it). It sure makes all the difference when your raising kids at home to have a friend close by to bounce adult conversation with.
Good luck in all your doing! Lucy is getting cuter and cuter, wow!
Take Care!
Val
I'm so sorry Poky hasn't been to welcoming. What ward are you in? I'll have to give you my sista's # she would love to hang out!! You are cute and hang in there winter/cold fall is always a drag, it will get better!!
We have never lived close to family. Growing up my family moved so much that no one could really follow us. Although I envied my cousins who lived close to their granparents, I am glad I had all of the life experiences I did have. It taught me to really take advantage of the times we did get to spend with family, we traveled so much I got to see a lot of the U.S, and it made me a stronger person, not having to rely on my family all of the time. It's nice to be around family but it also gives you your own identity instead of always being called so and so's sister or whatever. Sorry you are having a bummer time, sometime's it just takes time, I know it did for me here.
We miss you Tara! Although the weather here is just as bad. :-) I think all of us are dreading winter. Everytime I see a bare tree, my heart sinks just a little more. But at least we have spring to look forward to!
I'll probably be in WV forever...which is away from my family and has bad weather. I'd say that you adjust and eventually it will feel like home. WV really does feel like home to me now, and I'm sure Idaho will for you too. It gets easier.
I know what you mean about not being receive with "open arms". I feel like I'm still in the stage of "Hey, we should really do something together sometime", but then we get back to our busy lives and nothing ever gets planned. It's pathetic and I know I am to blame most of the time. But, like you, I miss the associations in WV and the awesome clan of young mothers who would drop anything for a play date in the park. Is this what real life is like?
And about the the living away from family thing, I feel like I'm too far from my parents now who live only 25 minutes north of me. I wish I could just drop by for an hour or so on the way home from the grocery store or something, but 25 minutes of driving somehow warrants more planning than just "dropping by". It's sad. It seems I either need to be across the country or 5 minutes away to feel satisfied.
Anyways, good luck with everything. You have a lot to be grateful for (but wallowing in self pity is good once in a while too). Ha!
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